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Bad spellers of the world untie.

Did you hear that Most bachelors prefer girls who believe that children should be seen and not had.

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Took an hour to bury the cat. Silly thing kept moving…

Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don’t have to retrain them every Monday.

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You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

This guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. As the bartender serves the drink, the guy asks, “Hey, I heard a good Aggie joke the other day. Do you want to hear it?” The bartender says, “Well before you tell it, I should warn you that I’m an Aggie. See those two guys at the end of the bar? They’re Aggies. And see those guys over at that table. They’re Aggies too. Are you sure you want to tell that joke?” The guy replied, “Hell no! I don’t want to explain it five times…”

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A psychotic lives in castles in the air.

Did you hear about the French art of self-defense called Tongue Fu.

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Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

two guys walk into a bar - one is very handsome, and obviously quite well off; the other is loud, obnoxious and a general jerk to everyone he encounters. the bartender asks the first man - “What are you hanging around with HIM for?” the man replies, “well - i found this bottle on the beach; when i opened it, a genie appeared and said he’d grant me three wishes. “my first wish was to be the best looking man in the world. and now i am. “my second wish was to be the richest man in the world. now i lend Michael Jackson money. “my third wish was to have the world’s biggest prick; that’s when HE showed up…”

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Every silver lining has a cloud around it.

STREETWALKER — pussyfooter.

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You have been selected for a secret mission.

Did you hear about the recent cigarette survey that disclosed that 99% of the men who have tried Camels have gone back to women.

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A bird in the hand is worth about three Kleenex.

Purchasers of a forthcoming book title TARZAN’S JUNGLE SECRETS will find that it describes a number of ways to get off an elephant.

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